You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
