I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
