You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
