So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
