do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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