Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
