Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
