Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
