no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
