I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
