The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
