terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
