Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
