Welp...herpes.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
