He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
