I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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