I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
