Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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