What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
