you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
