No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The ass gains better be worth it
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