its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
