Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
