I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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