How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
