My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
