I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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