We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
