I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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