that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He felt like a one man threesome
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
