its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
