She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
