That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
