I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
What a dumb baby whore.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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