Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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