You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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