Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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