Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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