I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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