I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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