Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
