Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just cut my nipple shaving
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
