I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
