we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
