no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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