He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
