He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
