Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
