therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
