Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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